Retrospection for Personal Growth (Continuous Introspection)

Retros for Your Life

It's easy for us to get caught up in life, and by the time we realize we are unhappy at a job or with a situation, it's too late to do anything. We get to feeling like we're unsuccessful or could've done more. What we forget to do is look within ourselves to find where we should be going or doing to improve ourselves, which ultimately will improve our situations.

I choose internal retrospectives over doing goal/vision boards for the main reason that vision boards can seem to limit you. I've never looked at my life and said this is where I will be in 5 or 10 years because if I had, I wouldn't be where I'm at now. I'd be blinded by what I thought was in front of me instead of what could be in front of me.

But, I digress. Below are some tips for how I do personal retrospectives to help me grow, that I hope you can find useful.

Choose the right frequency for you to retrospect (day, week, monthly...)

I found that every week is great for me. I have so much that happens in a week that it allows me enough to retrospect on, while being able to focus on something to improve for the next week.

Personal Experience: 

I used to do every two weeks, but unless I write down everything I do and how I feel about it everyday (which would defeat the weekly retrospective), then it was hard to remember those feelings. I also tried to retrospect everyday, but I found that it was harder for me to actually take the time to improve one thing in a day.

Look to improve yourself, not your job or your situation

It's easy to get caught up in the belief that it's the job that is making us unhappy or that our situation is to blame. Instead, we neglect to take a look at what we've done to allow us to be in a place where we don't want to be. Ask yourself the following as you retrospect:

• "What made me feel successful this week?"
• "How did I feel after [insert activity, meeting, session you did/attended]?"
• "What would have make me feel better/successful about such activity, meeting, session, etc.?"
• "How am I holding myself back from making such activity successful?"

Personal Experience

I have learned from retrospecting this way that in the past, it wasn't the job or the situation that made me unhappy. It was either the way I dealt with it or the inability to allow myself to move forward/past a fear. What is it that is holding you back because it's not the job or the situation you're in; we can get out of those.

Praise yourself!

This is the most important thing to do! It's easy to criticize ourselves, but it's harder to give praise for things we did good. We are our own worst critics I hear. So, drop that mentality and give yourself a pat on the back for the good things you did that week. What successes did you have; big and small?

Personal Experience

I grew up with nothing a lot of my adolescent life sleeping under overpasses, in children's homes, in halfway houses, or homeless shelters. Because of that, I always told myself I won't go back there. It's always been important to me to strive to be my best, which also meant being very hard on myself. What I ultimately learned was that I can be hard on myself while still making sure to recognize my small successes. By acknowledging my small successes, I was able to build on those and recognize what I did good so I can continue doing those things. Many small successes will equal to bigger successes.

Choose one item to adjust during your "life sprint" and take action

We can't fix it all! But, we can choose one item to work on between now and the next time we retrospect. Choose that one item that you can realistically do before your next retrospection and come up with the Acceptance Criteria and tasks that will help you reach your personal Definition of Done.

Personal Experience

For instance, I just recorded an agile podcast last week, which is still to be edited (shoutout to Rick Waters with http://agilechicagostyle.com/ for even considering me), and it was part of my retro this week. After retrospecting, it was the one thing I didn't feel I was successful at this past life sprint. I felt that I wasn't genuine as I was trying to say the "right" thing. Those that know me, know that I value genuineness and never want to be anything less. Now, I can't go back and redo the podcast since that's a lot of work for them. What I can do is determine why I felt that way and work this next life sprint to make sure I don't fall into that trap again. I'll spend this life sprint making sure that this need to say things right doesn't impede who I am in the future.

Most importantly, once you've focused on an action item and improved, keep it as part of your life. Changes shouldn't be temporary. Feel free to keep a backlog on the action items you chose to work on and improve.

Would love to hear your comments!